More Stories

So I don't want to dwell on [negative] stories but they are what have formed me as I am, my experience in life and so has God. My parents sometimes are a trip. Basically they waited until they were almost 40 before they had me. I was a Caeserian baby, not really sure of the complications, but most likely I was to big to come out the regular way. I often wonder, even if it isn't a family secret, but there are always one right after the other. But that's just the way it is. But recently since I have return to the town of my birth, seems like some things have remained the same, and some things are oddly different, like they are waiting to tell me they dropped me on my head at age 2 or something.

Anyway just recently I stopped by for a visit and the topics of conversation were light hearted and 'normal'....so my dad is basically becoming very hard of hearing. He's telling me about the top of lungs that only recently the world has been going to pot. Ranting about this and that on my left side, "and the Chinese have bought up almost everything, they own this country", and on and on....paraphrased.

My mother the other hand is on my right side getting louder and louder, "and the Muslims are having a march on Washington tomorrow". Of course they have been listening to one of their 4 or 5 news sources. One of the three network rehashed evening news stories, or tuning into the local AM station carrying Rush Limbaugh, Michael Medved or that nosey hag Dr. Slaura. If they say it, it becomes law and religion in one. While I'm at it, let me tell you a few things about Rush. {Alot more on that}

So back to the kitchen table at the folks. There both standing there telling me all these terrible problems sponsored by the current administration in late 2009. I had told my dad 20 years ago, that the Chinese had bought a major building, I believe the Empire State Building in NYC, and I was concerned then that there are some things that people might want to be a bit alarmed about. My dad's reply at that time was and I specifically remember it.."well son, they can do that but they can't have the land underneath it, it's still American soil". True story. Now some people might consider me a bit naive, but I can tell you that if a country as a government makes a purchase like that they are serious about their motives to buy up as much of America as they can, and it's binding, and they will protect their investment.

And on my mom's comments, sure I'm worried about the constant threat of terrorism and crime, I believe that freedom of religion is covered in our Constitution, and I don't remember that the Christian religion or "Christianity" is really covered. More on this.....I was truly trying to stay out of it. My dad says during his prayers at the dinner table, "and keep this land a Christian land", which I knows he means well.

They were both yelling at the same time. Anyway the conversation had gotten out of control with the chaos of the parental unit's Gerital outbursts. "Enough" I had to shout! I think they were both pretty stunned. Dad went off and sulked in his chair, mom never stops, her hands always have to be busy, so off she went with one of here relentless projects. I just went over to 'hopefully' walk the dog if he'll let me, and just "visit". It.. {all of the world's problems} was all Obama's and my fault that day.

I know that they get and have felt pretty disappointed with me, but Lord. So sometimes yes, I wish I had buckled down in school and decided to become an orthodontist. All I know is I wanted to get out of school and play music which I had a small taste of, I also worked while I was in school and that also gave me a sense of paid responsibility and 'freedom'.

So, there's a few things I have to get off my chest and its' not hair. I've been and out of a few relationships or LTR's as they are called in the circles..... so, I decided here in my little hometown that I would hang that one up for awhile and let my own personal life clear the air.

A little more on those LTR's later, but here is what happened
. I intentionally decided not to get really involved with another man. And so occasionally you run into a man or couple that you like and might have some sort of feelings for. You make contact no matter where you are with men that actually get you off, either emotionally or sexually, or however you might get your blood flowing.

Currently, I live in my very small hometown of Anywhere, USA or Anywhere in the World. I moved here from a bigger city to be closer to my folks, they are becoming more fossilized as we go. Don't get me wrong, they are wonderful people, but underneath it all they are as 'old fashioned' as it gets. This whole community and them are and God love 'em..

Christian Conservative
Right Wing
Fundamentalist Elite
Moral Majority Iism
God Hates Fags-Fag Bashers
Anti Abortion Right To Lifers

I know the readers might think this is kind of harsh for a town billed as "the friendliest town in America", but the underlying tone in all of this is that some people think they can push all of the opinions and "rights" on other people, but this country is changing after this last generation of hateful people leave us forever. I'm all for standing up and waving the flag, but some groups and people take it just a little to far. OK, I'll get off my soapbox for now, but I think some of yourselves will know what I'm talking about.

So here I am. Hometown Sweet Hometown. I do love my folks very much and I will be a trooper for them. It's really hard to go back into a closet so to say that I was able to escape for in a city for more than 25 years. You can just really disappear and knowbody knows much about you if you don't let 'em. And not many people care except your really close friends. So I never told my folks, it would rip them apart. My sister, brother and a few other family members know, but it was just mainly mean gossip. They say your parents always know, and of course they do. They lived your live right there beside you, even if you were miles away. In this case it's just best.

But I wish I could just fix it all. A couple of older girlfriends know and they just stand by me all the way, and they never said "I knew it then"....they just get it. My college sweetheart married a banker/lawyer, whatever, had kids, lesbian relationships, one that broke her heart recently. Then she calls me up a few weeks ago and say "marry me", really she literally begged. I was told later that her husband had so many bad business deals, couldn't handle the money and they were horribly in debt. Here she is working four jobs. Now here we are in very scary ....of the swine flu, and she was just admitted into the hospital after fighting a flu for weeks, it has just gotten worse....

This story isn't about me whining about anything. I've had more than a good life and still might change a few things, it's about hope that has always been in my heart. Where one door would close, almost immediately another door would magically appear and reopen. HOPE is a good thing is what it says in Shawshank Redemption. More than just hope but to be able to take action of something and actually see change.

the beef vs. pork conversation.

the old fruit situation.

My family comes from a very tradition values system, so there isn't my room for my 'free' thought around most of them. Now some would disagree that the folks are very tolerant to new ideas, but it also must be said that to change their opinion on any array of topics, they are "pretty set in their ways"... Conservative, Christian, fundamentalist, family values, pro-life, pro-church, fag-bashing, right to lifers, and on and on. So there aren't terrible things in that, just sometime, {almost always] they take it to the extreme.

The Hole In My Soul

continuation of several stories, birth order, loving sibling rivalry.

one, "the pants" story of grandmommie wanting to get Jack some new clothes. KMart, didn't know pant size, conspiracy behind Parla's and granddaddy's back. ....9-27-2009